


The Last Great American Dynasty

by prettylittlehead22



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Childhood Trauma, Civil War Fix-It, Consensual Underage Sex, Deepthroating, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Virginity, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Rimming, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Shameless Smut, Songfic, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Switching, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, True Love, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittlehead22/pseuds/prettylittlehead22
Summary: There had only ever been Steve and Bucky.There would only ever be Steve and Bucky.But time is cruel, the world's not fair and both boys never really learnt how to stop fighting.Or Taylor swifts folklore album is a Stucky biography and no one can convince me otherwise.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 28
Kudos: 56





	1. SEVEN

**Author's Note:**

> Based vividly on Taylor Swift's new Album Folklore, because she's a goddess and these songs are basically the most Steve and Bucky associated songs I've ever heard.

~SEVEN~

When his ma kicked him out of the house, Steve would bang at the frail wooden door until his knuckles bled or Mrs. Dawn from next door told him to quit. 

On days like these, days he hated, he'd learnt to not sit outside laundering. Someone always complained whenever he took up room on the steps to the apartments so he had to keep moving. He'd travel a little ways to the closest park and sit on a bench until he was sure his father had left the apartment for the night in favour of heading to the closest bar. When he got back, his ma would always be sniffling on Steve's makeshift bed, blood on her face and whatever pretty dress she had on.

Steve would hold her until they both fell asleep. 

The next day, his ma would salvage together a somewhat nice breakfast and send him to school with a kiss- or if it was a weekend she'd take him out for walks, or different playgrounds to make up for something that wasn't her fault. Steve would smile extra hard to make it okay for her, even if he knew it didn't always work. Sometimes when he looked at the bruises on his mothers face he'd find he blamed himself for not being able to protect her, he told her this once and she told him he was being silly.

_"I'm fine honey, you don't hafta worry 'bout me. Your father ain't nothing I can't handle."_

The blonde of course hadn't really stopped worrying, despite nodding his head at everything she'd said.

*-*

Steven Grant Rogers was 7 years old when James Buchanan Barnes fell into his life.

It'd been on a bad day, his father had staggered back from work in a foul mood. Steve hadn't understood any of the reasons why, just words thrown at his mother like 'laid off' or 'useless managers' what he had understood was his ma telling him to hide in the closest. The quiet boy had trembled inside the cramped space, with the musty smell of unused clothes and small baby clothes keeping him company, the space always flared his allergies, that's why he was crying.

He didn't cry hearing the sharp sound of slaps colliding on soft skin, nor did he cry when he heard his mothers protesting cries. 

If whimpers left his throat at the sound of smashing glass, well no one was witness to know.

Soon the sound of stomping feet echoed through the house, the slamming door announcing his fathers obnoxious retreat for alcohol. When Steve crawled out of the closet his ma lay curled on the couch facing away from him. Although she made no sounds her shoulders shook and her breathing was laboured, his selfish nature turned him away from her and led him out of the door to the park. He couldn't see her face broken, he couldn't let her see the tear track marks staining his own cheeks, he had to be strong for her.

When he made it to the park he'd frequent and sat at his bench beneath the old tree he finally allowed his shoulders to slump. There'd been nothing he could do to make it better, he couldn't fight, couldn't stop his father's temper, Steve didn't deserve to be a son.

"Arghhhhhh!" Steve's back shot upright like a jolt, jarring his crooked spine as something fell from the tree above him. Following the track of green leaves descending to the ground, Steve eyes fell upon that of a boy. This boy lay flat out on the dirt his arms sprawled uncaringly about him, a thick mop of brown curls silhouette red cheeks and eyes that stare dazedly up at nothing. Steve hops off the bench and cautiously walks over to the boy whose burst out into laughter. "Dammit!"

"Are you okay?" The boy must not have seen Steve, if the stick he thrusts up threateningly in front of him is any indication. Steve puts his hands up and makes himself seem smaller, but when his eyes meet the boys the other calms down. The brunette frown switches back to a big toothy grin, the grin stays on his face right up to the point he gets onto his feet and shakes himself off. 

He hasn't taken his eyes off of Steve.

"I'm fine pal, just fell right off the deck." Then without further words the boy begins to ascend the trees trunk again.

Steve's confused and follows the boy to the other side of the tree. "The deck?" He calls up to the boy still climbing branches, the kid doesn't stop climbing but shouts back.

"Uh yeah, you know the deck of my ship." Steve blinks upward, what the hell was this boy talking about? 

"You're not on a ship, you're in a tree." The blonde felt the need to point out, but the boy just climbed another branch and settled in holding the stick up in the air shaking his head with conviction.

"Nuh-uh, i'm on my ship, the Golden Pearl! Sailing all around the world!" From the brunettes mouth came a series of expressive grunts as he pretended to wield a sword, he hit the branches above him and manned the sails, as Steve stared up bewildered by the weirdness of his current situation he found himself lacking the excitement and figured he should be getting home anyway. 

He walked off.

Steve was on the tarmac outside the playground when a voice called after him.

"Hey blondie! Where ya goin?" Steve recognised and ignored the boys voice until he started to walk beside him. "You're my first mate."

That wasn't something Steve understood nor cared to be called, he made sure to tell the boy this. "No I ain't."

The floppy haired boy frowned, his cheeks puffing out like a stuffed chipmunk as he considers Steve. "Okay," He eventually agrees leaving the boys to walk in silence for a bit toward Steve's apartment blocks. Somewhere past the third block corner the taller of the two grins a wide smile down at the blonde, to announce. "You're my best friend then."

Steve stopped abruptly at the words, he didn't know what this boy wanted with him and immediately became suspicious. No other kid had ever offered to be his friend before, let alone demanded to be.

"Why?"

Grey eyes met his blue ones, Steve noticed the boy had gotten slightly pink whilst shrugging. "I ain't got anyone else to play with." He admits and Steve sighs heavily, cursing his nice nature which told him he knew exactly what the boy was going through. When he stares up at the other again the boys hiding his face behind his shaggy hair, seemingly trying to hide how he's feeling.

Steve sighs once more. "If I say yes, will you go away?" The boys head snaps up, his grin morphing into a smirk.

"That's wouldn't be very best-friendly of me now would it." Instead of answering Steve shrugs, he surveys the end of the road ahead of them and turns back to the other with a frown.

"I gotta go home." He states.

The other nods in understanding. "Okay blondie."

Steve shivers in the middle of June and corrects the brunette. "My names Steve not blondie."

At least the boy has the decency to be sheepish, nodding. "Steve, cool. I'm Bucky, well I'm not really called Bucky, my names James but my little sis can't pronounce my name so she's started calling me Bucky. My ma calls me Bucky now so everyone's started calling me Bucky. I mean, I don't hate it but it's-" Steve interjected Bucky's rambling by once again heading home.

"Goodbye Bucky!" He can already imagine Bucky smiling back at him. 

"Okay pal, see ya tomorrow. We're gonna play pirates, meet at our spot under the tree!"

From that moment on, it had always been Steve and Bucky.

*-*

Turns out along with Steve and Bucky, came Sarah and Winifred who too became the best of friends, getting closer and closer over the years.

At nights when Joseph Rogers had had one too many, Sarah would take Steve over to the Barnes family house. They lived in a small brownstone on the other side of red hook, it had been in George's family as long as he remembered and although the space was cramped with Bucky his parents and three sisters living in the space they made do. Bucky, being the only boy in the family had his own room where Steve would stay whenever they were there. 

Bucky would always share whatever toys he had or tell Steve stories about old pirate legends his father told him. This night they lay on their backs on a pile of hand knitted blankets under a fort of their own creation, Bucky had dragged in his lamp and cut small stars in a piece of paper to place over the opening. As the light shone through the gaps star shadows appeared on the sheets above and comforted them both, Steve had held in his tears on the way over and only let them go when Bucky had seen him and gotten him to make the fort with him.

Now he lay back sniffling into the small space with Bucky's hand held firmly in his own.

Bucky of course was trying his best to cheer him up, claiming because he had three sisters- one elder and two smaller- that he had plenty experience with making people not cry.

"When we grow up Stevie, we can live together and then we can play pirates whenever we want..." His excited tone got a little quieter, lowed to a whisper so soft Steve had to tilt his head to uncover his good ear so he could hear it. "Then you won't have to cry, or hide in the closet ever again." The blondes breath hitched at the words, they're kind and touching and cause fresh tears to fall down his cheeks. Bucky must be able to hear the increase of whimpers because Steve was being hauled into the boys chest faster then he could tell, smothered by the smell of Bucky, warm and cosy as he cried.

It was once his tears had stalled and his breathing regulated, words finally found him. "When I grow up ain't nobody gonna hurt a dame in front of me. I'd beat any man who tried." They were mumbled like a secret promise into the skin of Bucky's chest, the boy in response huffed a smile and rubbed the boys back.

"You go Stevie."


	2. AUGUST

~AUGUST~

Steven Grant Rogers was 13 years old when his father died.

He didn't cry, barely blinked through the ceremony.

Bucky slung his arm tight over his shoulders the entire time, softly stroking the thin material of the shabby suit his mother had made him to wear. Steve stopped trying to shrug his arm off after the third time he'd wrapped it around him, his frame completely slumping in defeat when Bucky had leant down to whisper into his ear.

"It's okay to be sad pal, he was your dad." Steve in fact did not feel this was okay, he hated the feeling. How could he be sad for the bastard who'd beaten his mother whilst Steve coward away? Joseph Rogers had died during the war as far as Steve was concerned.

His ma had been quietly conversing with Winifred the entire time, apparently she had managed to pick up nursing shifts at the hospital to pay the bills now that Joseph was gone. With Steve's ma working he'd spent more and more time with Bucky, at Bucky's and just generally around Bucky.

Steve had taken up sketching a few years back and had gotten to be quite good with the skill. He and Buck were hanging around his apartment with all the windows wide open, ma had picked up a shift and wouldn't be home until later that night. His sketch pad was propped open on his knees as he drew the outline of Bucky who was sprawled out on the two seater with only his wife beater rolled up to his pecs and plain white pants on. The heat in August was sweltering, meaning a layer of sweat sat permanent on the brunettes tanned skin, unlike Steve whose pale complexion only burnt in the sun, Bucky's adapted enough to give him a summer glow. Steve had found himself as of late envious of his best pals body, the older Barnes got the taller and more filled out, he'd even grown into his baby face- although Steve still liked to tease him about his chubby chin whenever he was feeling just a little bit mean.

Steve himself had always been a 'runt', frailer than most kids his age, shorter too with about a hundred and one health conditions. His stuttering heart acted up in the winter and he'd never been able to grow more than a few centimetres each year. Between that and his crooked spine he'd been privy to bullying, he'd give as good as he got to those he fought before collapsing of an asthma attack because of his stupid lungs, Bucky would inevitably have to intervene.

Steve hated having Bucky fight for him. 

Needless to say, he'd always cursed his fragile body for being so weak and always admired his pal's.

With Bucky stretched out halfway between a snooze and a lazy daydream the blonde had plenty time to shade in the drawing. 

That was until Bucky infuriatingly groaned out. "For Christ sakes Stevie, this house is like a furnace. I can't breathe!"

"If you can complain you can breathe, now stop moving ya big baby." Bucky sticks his bottom lip out and starts pouting, but he otherwise obeys Steve's wishes and stays still until the blonde confirms he's done.

"Can I see?" He asks coyly, wary of Steve's ability to sometimes reject his requests of showing exactly what he's done.

This time Steve rolls his eyes and bids him over. Bucky bounds over like a puppy, gleefully leaning over Steve to get a good eyeful of the page.

"Yup, you captured all my handsomeness." Steve snorts, his face scrunching up as his regards his pal.

"Shuddup, you're face is not handsome." What the shorter of the two doesn't expect is Bucky to tackle him to the floor, his back hits not nearly as harshly because Bucky puts his hand between it and the floor in time- because he's always looking out for Steve like that. The two proceed to tickle and jab at the weak spots they know of each others, Bucky's straddling Steve's legs whilst attacking the ticklish spot just under his ribs. At the move Steve's pelvis bucks up into his bottom and Bucky's body jolts like a livewire as a sensation rushes through him. The shock has him momentarily stunned giving Steve- whose unaware of Bucky's racing feelings- the opportunity to take advantage flipping the two over. On his back with Steve now on top Bucky flushes, not understanding exactly what he's feeling.

Bucky's mouth falls open as he chokes out a gasp. "Punk." Steve looks so freaking smug when he pokes Bucky in his chubby chin.

"Jerk."

*-*

Steven Grant Rogers was 15 years old when Bucky Barnes took him to the creek.

It's early in the month of August, on the seventh day to be precise. Steve's allergies had always improved when the weather got better but the heat was always a negative. He was snoozing in the afternoon when Bucky had burst into his room and woke him up.

"We're going to the creek Stevie wake up, ya hafta come!" The blonde groan twisting his head to glare up at the brunette.

"Whose we?"

"You and me pal." Steve had been dragged way to often by Bucky with random dames to locations he'd never agree to go to if he hadn't been tricked, so knew all to well to question him further.

"Gals coming along doesn't count as just us." Steve burrows his head under his pillow. 

"I'm not lying, just me and you at the creek getting away from all this shit, promise."

" 'm telling your ma you swore."

Bucky annoyingly yanks the pillow from out under his head. "You better fucking not Rogers, now hurry up and put ya clothes on, we wouldn't want Mrs Dawn seeing ya in your tighty whities again, she almost had a heart attack the last time." Bucky clobbered out into the hallway cackling leaving Steve behind to splutter excuses.

"That was only the one time, I thought we said we wouldn't talk about that ever again." He removes his sweating body from the sweat slick cotton sheet and grimaces at the wet mark.

Ew, he would change the sheets before getting into bed later that night.

*-*

Bucky had actually stuck to his word of it just being the two of them, the creek was well abandoned as the older boy claimed only he knew about it. Steve was sure that wasn't true but never corrected his friend, they'd been coming here for years and he'd never seen anyone else out here so maybe he was right. 

The creek was discreet, a small area not far into the woods hidden by tall shrubbery. Not only did you have to know where it was to find it, but one also had to crawl through all kinds of bushy wildlife to get to it. Although the little hike was always made easier by Bucky's presence Steve still disliked it. He always made sure to complain nice and loud when they finally settled down on the soft grass whilst Buck laughed at him for being a 'bitch' about things.

They spent time mucking around on the tire swing, leaping into the water and splashing each other before eventually laying back on the grass, lazily enjoying the sun on their skin.

Bucky had shredded all his layers and lay only in his pants the moment they'd gotten there. Steve had tried to look away from the sun shining on the slopes of Bucky's back and had failed miserably. He'd brought his sketch book with him but recently he found he'd been drawing his best friend a little too obsessively.

As in the entirety of his sketchpad had been filled with sketches both complete and not of Bucky.

Whether it was his body reclining on some surface, his smile glinting pearly white as he smiles or the shine of his eyes in the afternoon sun.

Jesus H Christ what was wrong with him?

"Hey Stevie." Bucky drawled, Steve turned onto his side to look his best friend in the eye and found the boy already doing the same, funny he hadn't remembered him being that close before.

Suddenly he felt the heat had absorbed all the moisture in his mouth, he croaks out a 'yeah' and hopes Bucky doesn't notice. Bucky smirks, one of his signature smirks, it's cheekiness let's Steve know he's gonna say something scandalous next.

"Ya remember when I took out Evelyn the other night?"

"Pointy nose Evelyn?"

"Yeah ya punk." Bucky screws his eyebrows in an adorable way when he thinks hard on something, now is no different. "Well, I walked her home afterward and she pulled me into this alley and let me put a hand up her skirt." Steve's complexion deepens into a deep pink as he blushes at the imagery Bucky's words conjured in his mind. He doesn't know why his friends bringing this up now, but whatever challenge he's proposing, Steve doesn't want to flinch away from it.

Instead the blond gulps down the saliva building up and husks a question. "What was it like?"

"Hot, as in she was hot right between there Stevie. Wet too, like dripping wet. I'd only kissed her for a minute before she let me do it and when I slipped my fingers in it's like her body was begging for it." Steve shuddered at the words of pure filth dripping from his best pals mouth, where the hell had he learnt to speak that way? The blonde felt his eyes slip shut tightly trying to ignore the swirling feeling in his gut. Bucky props his head up on his fist to peer down at Steve in his flushed state, his friend is in the same state he's in clothes wise and that blush runs down his chest in a way which winds Bucky up. 

He's had thoughts since he was 13 about how far that blush went and those thoughts never got any less prominent.

Bucky doesn't know what's coming over him, he just keeps running his mouth like his ma tells him not to. "I kept thinkin', what if she let me slip my tongue in her too. Wonder what she'd taste like, if she'd gush out over my tongue when she came just like she did around my fingers." Steve's eyes shot open, flicking over to the other, he couldn't breathe.

"Fuck Buck." Bucky gulps under the weight of his stare.

"You wanna know Stevie, wanna know how I kissed her?"

"How Buck?" The moment Stevie groans the words out Bucky knows he's done for. He lunges forward and captures his best pals mouth in his own, when Stevie whines like really fucking whines Bucky loses all composure he has left. His tongue seeks out the others own coaxing his mouth open wider, the taste of Steve overwhelmed him. The taste of pastrami from the sandwiches he'd packed, flat soda adding a sweetness but beneath those something so originally Steve that Bucky couldn't help shifting their position so the blonde was crowded underneath him. The switch had his pelvis placed right alongside Steve's who shakily exhales as he feels himself firming in his pants, the feel of his hardness pressed against his hip had Bucky moaning.

"Want me to touch you there Stevie, do ya?" Steve arched up as the words crooned in his ear, he wanted Bucky closer, so much closer.

"Please Buck, oh please!" Steve had done this himself, touched his prick whenever he felt the urge but having Bucky's hand on him unlocks a whole other level of sensation. He's twitching heavily in Bucky's palm getting harder than glass, groaning into his mouth every time he thrusts up into the pressure of the brunettes hand. Bucky groans back in response and speeds up, he works Steve's cock in his palm until pre cum slicks the path making everything just right.

Bucky's sucking hickies into the supple skin on Steve's neck, his skin has always bruised so easily and now he's wearing Bucky's mark, the older boy yearns to put it everywhere but Steve's clawing at his back, whining higher the faster Bucky gets. Little uh uh uh's Bucky had only ever heard when people mocked the sound dames make. Plus Bucky's been rubbing off on the boys hip the whole time, there's a wet patch on his pants getting bigger the harsher he rubs, if Stevie keeps making those noises he's going to cream his pants.

"Bucky i'm gonna-m gonna-" Steve cuts himself off, bowing right up into Bucky as his mouth forms a perfect o as he cums, Bucky bites his neck and cums at the same time.

He licks the taste of sweat from his best pals neck, whose breathing is now laboured enough that he sounds like a wheezing duck and Bucky's never been more happy. 

On the 7th day of August Bucky Barnes licks into Steve Rogers mouth and never wants to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My birthday's on the 7th of August, I'm actually a sentimental mess. XD


	3. EPIPHANY

~EPIPHANY~

Bucky grew older, grew into that ridiculously handsome cleft on his chin, baby fat was no more turned instead into a treacherous bold line that Steve somehow still adored.

He'd write sonnets about that jawline... he had written sonnets to that jawline.

Steven Grant Rogers was 23 when the Japanese bombed pearl harbour.

Bucky Barnes was 24 when he got recruited to go to war.

Staring at him in his army suit had been like seeing a ghost, he appeared to Steve like some untouchable goal one he was uncapable of achieving. 

There was Bucky, fighting for him again, saving his ass from bullies bigger than they'd ever dreamt off, whilst Steve's 4F burnt a hole into his pocket.

Bucky had picked up the blondes fourth enlistment attempt and felt his heart plummet, he knew what Steve was trying to prove, knew how badly he wanted it and was selfishly thankful the army would never take him.

He dragged Steve home, cleaned up his flesh wounds and made sure he wore something dapper. They were going to go see the future, _'You know how much I love that science shit Stevie'_ Bucky had whined, begging his best guy to please go with him.

"Watching dames bounce all over you like a couple of dogs with a bone, sure Buck I'd love to see that." Then Bucky had proved who was the dog when he'd busted out the puppy dog eyes and gave him a kiss which stirred all feeling to his dick, all the while pouting.

Eventually Steve gives in, because if James Barnes was anything, it's a little fucker with lips that could persuade mountains to move.

While hugging Steve his thanks, grey eyes lock onto the failed form on the coffee table of their shared apartment. Bucky glared at it accusingly, burrowing his head into the comfort of Stevie's neck where the smell of soft linens resonated off of the blonde all year round.

The older mans voice was small when he whispered into his hiding space. "Stop trying Stevie, please." Steve stiffens under him, a reaction Bucky expected but hated all the same. 

Yet he hadn't pulled away, so maybe progress had been made.

Steve's deep voice sends vibrations from where Bucky's forehead connects to his throat. "Ya know I can't Buck-"

If Bucky whines, well there's only two of them around to hear it. "Why not, I've got my sisters here, my ma. No ones taking care of 'em anymore now that dad's joined your ma in heaven punk, I'd feel so much better knowing you're here takin' care of em." He pulls away first, needing Steve to see how much he meant it but the blondes already shaking his head.

"Whilst you're out there risking your neck fighting the good fight!" Bucky flinches when Steve starts shouting, it's something Steve rarely uses at him and he hates it every time.

"Don't start with me Stevie, not now." He begs, his face obviously hurt enough that Steve reigns in that firecracker anger of his and sighs, his artists hand hold Bucky's hips gently, his thumb kneading the muscle behind the uniform.

"I need to go to war with ya punk, can't have you going alone. Buck if you get sent to the front and die I gotta be there dying with you ya jerk."

"Jesus H Christ punk," Bucky's eyes are wide with scandal. "there's somethings you just can't speak about with a soldier and that's one of 'em, holy fuck Rogers. I swear to god I oughta hit you upside the head, you're ma would've. God rest her soul."

"I'm only speaking the truth." Steve shrugs, as if what'd he'd said hadn't broken Bucky's heart into a million little pieces, as if the thought of Steve dying for a fight Bucky didn't even want to fucking be in hadn't always been Bucky's biggest fear.

In the end he can't keep the tremble out of his voice. "I just- I just want you to keep your life Stevie... don't you get that?" Those ocean eyes don't meet his and he cranes Steve's face upward so they can look at each other. Both saps are tearing up, stubbornly not letting those tears come to fruition by falling, but Bucky's always been weaker than Steve. Let's his fall when he cups the smaller mans face in his hands. "We played pirates Stevie 'member, I said I promised, you wouldn't ever have to cry again punk, I _promised_ ya remember." His Stevie's chin wobbles where his hands meet it and Bucky brushes his falling tears away with his thumbs. 

"Couldn't handle if you got hurt baby, couldn't take it." Steve can't take the overwhelming feeling of it all, the unfairness, the wrongness of seeing Bucky reduced to ugly crying at the thought of losing him.

He's full on crying now, this time hiding his face in the ironed lapel of Bucky's blazer, because he hated feeling weak and nothing felt weaker to him then crying. "How'd ya think I feel Bucky, ain't never felt like this with no one else but you."

They both stay embraced until the suns gone down and their muscle ache from holding on to tightly, this is Bucky's last night here, he wants to make the most of it. Wants to go out with his best pal in anyway he can.

Bucky tries to brighten the mood, husks into pale cream skin. "You should wear that cardigan you stole from me, it's my favourite Stevie. Couldn't care about any dame with you in that navy knit cardigan, drives me crazy." The sudden change in tone makes Steve wheeze with laughter, the blonde wipes at his tear stained cheeks which dried in the air and thumps Bucky companionably on the arm.

"Anything for you doll." He takes the worn and well loved cardigan from the closet in their room, when he exits Bucky's waiting at the front door with the blondes jacket and smirks like a goon when he sets his eyes on his baby.

"Get me so hot Stevie." When the blonde scoffs in delight and kisses him before they open the door and have to be strictly friends Bucky falls a lot more in love.

"Come on ya tease, the future awaits."

*-*

Steve was taller than him.

Bucky had become a sergeant, got sent to the front line, been captured by the Germans and turned into a POW, tortured by a short asshole who also experimented on him, had been rescued by captain fucking America, seen a man rip his face off and seen a red skull beneath it.

Yet, the thing which bugged him now, more than all of that stupid shit was the fact that Steven Grant Rogers was taller than him.

"What the fuck." He glared at Steve who had avoided eye contact with him up until this point, hunching in to make his frame smaller less intimidating, and like fuck you Steve, because Bucky wasn't fucking afraid of him, he was fucking mad at him.

Steve's hands stretch out to calm him. "Buck, sweetheart bare with me."

 **"What the fuck!"** It took two strides of Steve's new powerful legs before he was right in front of Bucky covering his mouth with a hand. The hunky blonde begged him to keep it down and Bucky felt his anger rise to all new heights.

He breaths a shuddering breath out through his nose and bats Steve's hand away when the man doesn't move it himself. "You let a scientist experiment on you willingly, even though you know you have- well had a bucket load of health issues which could possibly kill you!"

"I trusted Erskine with my life Buck." Bucky slapped Steve up the head and the blonde squeaks, _'good'_ he thinks darkly. The fucker may be taller than him now but he better know his fucking place.

The brunette narrows his eyes when Steve stares mouth agape in astounded fear at him. "That's from your ma- God rest her soul." Bucky's really trying to calm himself down but Steve always finds new ways to get under his fucking skin. "You always wanted some fucking solution and you sure as hell got it Rogers!" The mans eyes travel down the foreign body belonging to his lover and he looks away just as quickly before that familiar stirring has him losing focus.

_'You're mad Bucky not horny'_

Oh god but Steve's pulling out his classic forgive me moves, putting his new big hands on Bucky's hips and rubbing his thumbs into the muscle innocently as if he doesn't know what that does to the brunette. And like fuck you once again Steve because Bucky was supposed to be angry and couldn't remember right now why that was again. "I didn't get a solution Buck, I had a fucking _Epiphany!_ " The larger man shouts right back at him and Bucky's had more than enough, he's so ready to lay into this man, one more wrong thing and he'll snap.

"Yeah, what the fuck was that!?" Steve huffs.

"I loved a jerk who'd been captured by fucking Nazis and was gonna save him even if it was the last thing I'd do." Bucky's anger melts away like rain into water, his mouth drops open in disbelief, because he'd processed exactly none of Stevie's sentence right. 

Luckily, or actually not that luckily Peggy comes through Steve's tent (Bucky hates her) and spills off some bullshit information to the Captain, giving Bucky the perfect chance to think.

When she's gone, Steve's got his back to Bucky and has to turn around to face the music. What he doesn't expect is to be tackled to the ground, he doesn't remember Bucky being so strong but then again the sergeant didn't have to hold back.

Now straddling his waist, with the lapels of his leather jacket scrunched up in his hands and tears brimming in his desperate eyes, Bucky frowns down at him. "Say it again." Is the single demand and who is Steve to deny him?

An artist thumb places itself on Barnes lower lip, pink and pouting Steve pats it twice. "Love you 'til the end of the line Jerk." Bucky's mouth collides with his violently. Hard enough that their teeth collide jarringly, Steve' s crooked nose which had never quite set back right bent awkwardly, Bucky's dick got squashed against Steve's apparent rock solid body.

It's perfect.

Until Steve shifts his head to the side and gasps. "Buck, there's a war going on." Bucky's undeterred, dragging filthy kisses down Steve neck, nosing his skin and breathing him in. Soft linens, the scent never changed. Steve still smelled like Brooklyn summer nights, still tasted like the salt air down at Coney Islands Pier, Bucky wanted him more than ever. 

War be fucking damned, Captain America was his right now.

"Don't care Stevie, love you too." Steve chuckles of course.

"So I'm Stevie again huh?" The blonde's being a little shit, he knows but it never fails to get Bucky worked up. The older man growls, actually fucking growls and thrusts up into the crevice of Steve's legs harshly, Steve throws his head back at the sudden stimulation on his hardening dick.

Bucky's voice is like gravel when he speaks. "Always be _my_ Stevie baby, my good Stevie."

Steve throws his head back and bares his neck begging for it. "Jesus Buck want you doll, want you so bad."

"Inside you baby, ya want me inside ya?" The Brooklyn in their accents thickens whenever their involved in intense situations, Steve always shudders when Bucky talks filth to him and if the stuff he says grants Steve a fresh ticket to hell, he'd ride at the front of the train so long as Bucky never stopped.

"Mm please." Stevie whines, and when his baby whines, Bucky's helpless. 

He preps Steve with the Vaseline the man provides from under his cot and laughs because that was hella presumptuous of Rogers and he knows it too as he's laughing right alongside his pal.

The laughter soon dies off into soft sweet sighs when Bucky thrusts two slick fingers into his hole and jabs his prostate mercilessly. "You deserve this baby, ya risked your life. Had me thinking you were tucked up nice and safe at home, not out riskin' ya neck for a man not even worth ten a you." Steve's writhing on his two fingers, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he moans continuously. He's being so loud Bucky has to shove his tongue in the mans mouth to smother the noises.

When he let's up, Steve's protesting his earlier statement. "Uh-uh Buck, you're worth so much more doll, mm. Worth everything." Steve was always sweet, even with three fingers shoved into his tight hole now.

Only when Steve writhes in an attempt to fuck back on the digits does Bucky let up and pull them out, his baby whines pitifully at the loss but Bucky's already promising him something more, something better. He gets his cock nice and sloppy with the slick, rubbing it between Steve's cheeks. "You want it Stevie baby?"

His Stevie's so out of it he's slurring his words. "Want it Buck, s-so much, oh fuck." Bucky spanks his ass at the use of profanity.

"Cuss like a fucking sailor baby... Don't worry, I'll teach ya better." Any snarky retort Steve would have undoubtedly fired back at him died the moment his body greedily accepted Bucky's cock. His hole twitched appealingly around the girth of Bucky and Steve's breathing stuttered at the overwhelming feeling of fullness. "That's it baby, you take it." Bucky's words are like holy words.

Steve nods and nods because all he wants to be is good for Bucky, a good lover, good soldier. good man. 

All for Bucky, only ever for Bucky.

He hadn't realised he'd been saying that out loud until Bucky's strokes get deeper, more pointedly hitting his prostate on every thrust. "That right baby, all for me?" The brunettes tone may be cocky and sure but Steve hears the hidden insecurity, the need for validation and Steve fucks himself back onto Bucky's cock and shouts.

"Yes Bucky, yes doll, all for you! Uhh, ohhh please, please, please!" Bucky grabs the back of Steve's thighs and lifts his knees toward his hips harsh enough to bruise, in order to drag his cock over his baby's prostate over and over.

His words are growls, growls that drive Steve wild with lust. "You can come baby, just like this. Just on my cock." That's all it takes, that given permission for Steve's back to arch deeply as he comes, white ropes of his come leaking out of him so hard that he paints both Bucky and himself in it.

Bucky goes feral at the sight, fucking into him harder. "So good for me Stevie, so fuckin' good." The sergeant rips his cock from the mans stretched hole at the last second and strips his cock to come all over Steve's belly, his load seemingly goes on forever but in reality is only about 10 seconds.

When he was finished he collapsed on his back, chest heaving as if he was recovering from an asthma attack and when he glanced over Steve was staring dreamily covered in their combined mess at the ceiling.

Bucky chuckles. "Love ya 'til the end of the line baby."

Steve turns to him, his eyes creased with a bright happiness, those eyes shining so blue that Bucky had to thank every god for gifting him the privilege of being on the receiving end of that look. "Mm always Buck."

*-*

Steven Grant Rogers was 27 when he failed to save the love of his life.

Bucky slipped through his fingers like sand and Steve felt the grains consuming him. Peggy and the howlies were sympathetic but they didn't understand that Steve was falling down.

His breathing meant nothing, destroying Hydra was the only focus, the only mission he cared about.

As he stare over an vast endless ocean, he thought of the stormy grey of Bucky's eyes and shed a tear in the hope he'd see those eyes again.

They had this little secret, this one little thing no one else knew, could ever know.

A secret Steve took with him to the grave, when he crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea that Bucky fell off the train in 1945, it makes him falling even more painful because he'd almost made it to the end of the war ya know. Just thought I'd depress you Stucky fans further. *hides behind hands peeking* sorry. XD


	4. MY TEARS RICOCHET

~MY TEARS RICOCHET~

Bucky Barnes is 27 when he realises Steve had never truly loved him.

Zola's face haunts his nightmares and taunt's him when he lay awake, where the blue of Stevie's eyes morphed cruelly into the blue of latex gloves, where the white of Stevie's skin becomes the white snow he'd lay dying in for hours.

He sworn he'd see the silhouette of his love bounding over the rock, through thick falls of snowflakes which chilled him to the bone.

Steve was coming to save him, he just had to wait for Stevie to save him.

The men in lab coats bound him to their operation tables, gag him with cloths that make him choke to shelter the never ending screams when they cut into the flesh of his arm stump and sneer at the American for crying out for a man who killed their friends.

Bucky doesn't stop crying out anyway- once he'd exhausted his name, rank and number Steve was the only words he felt obliged to scream. Steve would find him. All Bucky had to do was be brave, like Steve had told him every time he'd fight, every time he'd throw himself into battle alongside his enhanced love with nothing but a rifle and his wit.

_'Just be brave Barnes, be fucking brave'_

He had been, or at least he thought he had. Until Zola had stood at his bedside one day, his mouth upturned in a wide grin as he regarded the soldier below him.

Bucky's confusion morphed to terror when he'd taken a peak at his broken body and seen silver glimmering under artificial lighting. It moved when Bucky's brain willed it, reflected the light as he brought it up to his eyes not quite believing what he'd seen.

When he lashes out it's from a place of fear, they were ruining him, turning him into their little thing, their machine to control. He tries to threaten them, tell them Steve's going to kill them when he finds out, turn the entire facility into ash once he did. 

Steve doesn't come, he didn't even try to look for him.

Zola tells him as much, when he shows him headlines from a newspaper. In the three days after Bucky had fell, Steve had gone on a suicide mission and plunged a plane into the fucking ocean becoming the hero Bucky had always known he was.

The soldier feels his heart drop, feels the crushing wave of grief crash over him.

What happens in the months forthcoming are a series of readjustments and painful punishments inflicted upon Bucky, in order to make him a weapon. HYDRA doesn't care for his grief, doesn't care that he refuses to eat and fails to speak when given orders. Steve's gone, he'd left Bucky behind after claiming to love him and now he was gone.

Realistically the brunette knows his Stevie didn't have a choice, but he could've tried harder. Now Bucky's all alone wishing someone would kill him so he could join the man who betrayed him, he can't help the overwhelming hate from taking root in his thoughts, what's more it's for the man he loves.

He doesn't have it in himself to let his hatred go with grace. 

He blamed Stevie for his pain, Steve who he felt so strongly about that HYDRA'S conditioning wasn't working. They'd always think they'd succeeded until he'd see something in the doctors or endless rooms which reminded him of Steve and his brain would break past the coding without hesitation.

Zola was the one who fixed it, Bucky was broken, a shell of the man he used to be. The mad scientist told him to tell him about Steve, to give him the knowledge he needed to make all of Bucky's problems go away, to make this transformation painless.

Bucky- who wasn't brave, who couldn't take the constant ache deep in his core- said yes.

Zola made programming words, rewrote Bucky's original settings and pulled his soul from his body.

He forced him to recall feelings of Steve with this promise of freedom. Personal detail and recollections of the time him and his Stevie spent together. From these memories the man wiped Bucky's brain and activated a series of trigger words.

His **Longing** for Steve became the first word. He'd been **Longing** for Steve to love him back, **Longing** for Steve to save him, **Longing** to eventually forget that love, to make the pain go away.

 **Rusted** was the second. The small **Rusted** sword Steve had given him as a gift for his nine birthday, the sword he'd brought with him everywhere as he climbed trees and battled enemy pirates across the seven seas. He'd thrown the sword away without hesitation when the **Rusted** blade had cut Steve and given him an affection, he'd played doctors as Stevie healed and found he loved it more than playing pirates anyway.

He was **Seventeen** when he felt Stevie curse his name in a breathless sigh into his ear. **Seventeen** when he took Steve one night when Sarah had an extra long shift at the hospital. **Seventeen** when he'd buried himself to the hilt and made Steven Grant Rogers his home.

It had been at **Daybreak** when Bucky Barnes had aggressively kissed Steve (after a particularly stupid mission) in front of the Howlies and none other than Peggy freaking Carter. **Daybreak** when their team had wolf whistled and the sun hit Steve's pouty face like he was some kind of angel. 

There was a **Furnace** in the basement of the Barnes household that used to gurgle in the middle of winter. Bucky would carry Steve down to the **Furnace** when the boy was riddled with heavy shivers because his fragile body shut down at the first signs of the chill. Bucky would let the **Furnace** burn away the cold and smile when Steve's complexion gained a little colour and he stopped sniffling, even if sweat dripped from the brunette by the bucket load.

 **Nine** days he'd spent holed up with Steve in his lonely apartment, as his best pal cried for the loss of his ma into Bucky's shoulder. **Nine** days when Bucky realised the promise of never crying again was much harder to keep then he thought. It took **Nine** days after Sarah Roger's passing, for Bucky to ask his best pal to move in with him and found his promise may be broken occasionally but only if it was out of his control.

Bucky had been a **Benign** man, Steve had learnt the words meaning and dubbed his Bucky the "most _Benign_ man" he'd ever met. Ironic life had always been for Bucky, two weeks later the doctors had diagnosed his father George with a **Benign** brain tumour, their test results were wrong. His tumour was not **Benign**.

James Buchanan Barnes nor Steven Grant Rogers had gone to **Homecoming** , they'd blown the night off to fool around at the creek. Bucky missed out on the chance to be the **Homecoming** king, it didn't matter, he had never felt like more of one than when he was waking up watching Steve's chest rise and fall the morning after, whilst the sun made his hair sparkle like gold.

There had only ever been **One** person for him, **One** person who understood Bucky in all his complexity, **One** reason for everything Bucky ever did, **One** reason for his very existence. There would only ever be **One** Stevie.

Bucky had ruined it all by falling from a **Freight Car** , Bucky refused to watch someone hurt the one he loved, Bucky had refused to let Stevie go on the train alone. Bucky left the love of his life on a **Freight car** as he plummeted into the cold below.

 **"Longing, Rusted, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight car."** Zola recited the words and Bucky's tears ricochet onto the floor when they take the last thing he has left away from him. He'd go knowing he loved Stevie until the day Bucky Barnes dies, he could let go now and only hope the blonde would be there on the other side of wherever he woke up.

He was turning into his worst fear, it was like some horrible dream. Being forced into becoming a person who didn't and couldn't love Steve. 

Bucky Barnes is 28 when he becomes the Winter Soldier.

*-*

Steven Grant Roger is 27 when he wakes up from the ice, or as so many of these new people remind him he is technically 93.

The future is bright, flashy and different from anything Steve had ever seen. He'd seen colour for the first time before he went under and still hadn't seen half of the ones the future had. 

People idolise his very existence, thank him for his service and tell them he won them the war. 

Steve doesn't feel like he's won anything.

The future has everything but _Bucky_.

These people forget that to him Bucky had died no more than three days ago. His grieving had been put on hold for the sake of winning the war but now, with the absence of raining gunfire or the constant threat of death it's all he can do.

SHIELD gave him an apartment, small and cramped and nothing he wasn't used to; he hadn't left it for weeks. 

There were small devices now which let you use small apps in order to accomplish any task one could think of, he'd learnt how to get groceries delivered to your door and used it to stay alive, despite his silent desire to dunk his head under water and do anything but that. 

Bucky woulda hit him upside the head and yelled at him for being an idiot, an ungrateful idiot. He'd been given a second chance to do good in a time his love could only dream of and here he was feeling sorry for himself.

More tears left Steve eyes, he just wanted him back, it wasn't fair. They'd been so close to happiness, so close to not having to fight ever again.

Now he'd have to fight alone.

Be the hero no one had thought he could be when he was 90 pounds soaking wet, no one except Buck.

*-*

They give him his shield and a new suit and tell him to save the world, he does.

They introduce him to a bunch of superpowered beings, spies and Howard Starks son and tell him to lead the Avengers, he does.

They tell him he needs to get out more, meet some different people, catch up with today's society and pop culture, he does.

These people of the future acknowledge the fact that homosexuality wasn't some kind of disease that only whores and sodomites indulged in and Steve locks himself in his room in the tower when he finds out. He doesn't come out when Nat asks him to, or Tony threatens to order Jarvis to let him in if he doesn't eat. He only listens when Thor speaks to him softly about what it's like to have somebody you love ripped away from you whilst you're unable to do anything about it. When he opens the door and sees the god cross legged on the floor with tears falling down his cheeks, Steve folds himself into an embrace he knows can't hurt the man and cries harder telling Thor all about Bucky.

The god spared no judgement, understood him, listened to how he felt instead of telling him how to feel and Steve knew he'd liked the hunk from when he'd first seen him.

When both emerge into the common room red faced and puffy eyed no one else says anything, Tony reheats Steve's plate of dinner and puts on a movie of the blondes choosing. Nat let's their leader curl up beside her on the massive sofa and strokes the hair on his head with her hand. Clint even let's the man have some of his pop-tarts, even though they're his favourite. Banner burns some of his calming incense in the small space setting the peaceful mood as everyone settle in to just be together.  
It's never going to be the same with Bucky gone, but everyday it get's a little easier to live without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words in bold are how many times Bucky had to be wiped with the word before his brain was conditioned to respond to them, it's not canon. I just thought it would be a nice touch.
> 
> Also I think i'll just turn my notes into Stucky depression facts. XD 
> 
> The first time Steve sees the Winter Soldier the song playing in the background is "It's Been A Long, Long time." by Harry James (which ok is public fan knowledge) but the songs meaning is literally about being reunited with your love at the end of war... and Steve and Bucky were completely straight?
> 
> Not quite convinced but ok.
> 
> Anyway thanks so much for reading, this story's actually gotten a lot of reads and kudos, even comments in the short time it's been up and I'm soooo grateful for my fellow Stucky shippers. xxx kisses.


	5. CARDIGAN

~CARDIGAN~

The Winter Soldier comes face to face with his target, with his mask and goggles discared he's comprimised, privy to distraction. Despite knowing this he turns around to face his opponent, the blonde mans face falls, his eyes alighting in utter disbelief as he stares the asset down.

The asset feels as if his very soul is being peered into.

"Bucky?" Whispered words give the asset pause, his hand slackens the grip he has on his pistol as he fights his mind to understand why the words have him feeling this way.

Instinct, base programming, his orders are the only thing that pushes his focus back to the mission. "Who the hell is Bucky?" His question is followed by him raising his weapon to shoot at the frozen man. The shot is disrupted by a man with wings who flies out of nowhere and the asset skids across the floor after being kicked. When he's up on his legs his brain is scrambled, thoughts not on his mission buzz around, the name 'Bucky' from the mans mouth play on rewind. 

Yet, this man, this target is his mission.

He raises the gun, narrowly avoids getting exploded to hell by his own grenade gun and escapes back to his handlers like protocol mandates him to do.

*-*  
When he closes his eyes to block out the whirring machinery sounds echoing from his metal arm, flashing images of things he doesn't remember flash behind his eyelids.

His face is being bathed in a golden glow, his cheeks flush against the warmth as he stares down into a face like sunshine. This image of holding hands and staring down at a face he knows he should know yet can't quite recognise feels worn and personal.

The asset isn't sure if he's allowed to watch yet tries to clutch onto the moments all the same.

The version of him, the happy smiling brunette is his doppelganger in every sense of the word, the asset does not remember ever being this way. The man is smiling down at a smaller blonde, watching wind wisp through those locks as the man spills words the Asset can't hear, he doesn't need to hear them he finds just watching comforting all the same.

For reasons he just doesn't understand.

The concentration he has for the scene is broken by an agonizing chill, memories of his first handler Zola, his measly face grinning down at him, the Asset feels himself falling, falling, falling into the endless eclipse of white. Not the warm white the colour of flushed skin but cold white, covering his body in chills.

There was a hand he narrowly missed, the far words of someone screaming a name.

His name?

Bucky!

Shut eyes snap open and he lashes out batting the engineer working on his arm across the room of HYDRA's latest hangout.

Guns trained on his form forcing him to remain still but as far as he was concerned the damage had already been done.

When his handler gets there, he overhears the men calling him unstable, erratic. Pierce orders a mission report but the Asset doesn't answer, there's this face he knows. The face of the blonde from before, it matches the one in his memories perfectly.

The man on the bridge was the same man from the train, the man whose hand he'd missed.

His voice is small when he asks his handler the question poisoning his mind. "The man on the bridge...who was he?"

"You met him earlier on another assignment."

Somehow the Assets sure this isn't all it is. "I knew him." Although he's being honest, honest to his handler, to the man whose supposed to care for his work, for him the man disregards him. Makes them wipe his brain, rip what little soul he had left out of him.

The memory of blue eyes, blonde hair and perfect warmth dissipates into pain.

*-*

The mission goes south, his target fulfils his own mission, the helicarriers fall from the sky but it doesn't matter.

He had to complete his mission.

The Asset is compromised, his target claims to know him, wont fight him and what exactly is one supposed to do with that?

With a convinced tone the man tells him his name, "You're name is James Buchanan Barnes." that can't be right because the Asset has no name, no place of belonging, he has only this mission. He punches the man to make him stop, he just needs to make him stop talking.

"Shut up!"

"I'm not gonna fight you, you're my friend." The Asset has no friends, his brain echoes, he has only his mission.

The blonde is a fool for dropping his shield, he'd given a killing machine the perfect opportunity, the perfect opening. The Winter soldier collides his hulking mass into the other to floor them.

"You're my mission." He whirs he metal arm and works on ending the agony in his mind, he says it again as the blondes face bruises from the onslaught, the Asset doesn't know who he's trying to convince, the man or himself.

'Finish it, obey your orders.'

The blonde doesn't fight back just opens his mouth to say. "Then finish it," The soldier stops to listen. "Cause I'm with ya till the end of the line."

The mans eyes are blue, blue the colour of oceans, blue the colour of the sky after the sun has shone for hours. The Asset remembers staring at the colour for hours trying to compare it to something else. He sees memories flash before his eyes of the two of them, a memory of the blonde finding one of his cardigans under his bed, one that was old and tattered cause he'd used it when he was a teen, Stevie patched it up and wore it anyway, told the brunette it'd suit his eyes. 

There was never anything quite like Stevie's eyes, nothing he loved more than getting lost in them.

Steve, oh god Stevie.

When the damage of the helicarrier drags Steve down with it but Bucky manages to hold on, but his every instinct is telling him to go after him, to not let Steve fall without catching him. 

_'Go you stupid machine, fucking go!'_

Bucky follows after Steve so fast it was as if the very notion was imprinted into his DNA.

*-*

Steve's heart yearned for the man he knew was still alive, from the moment the Winter Soldiers face had been revealed to the moment Bucky pulled him from the river. It had been an endless scramble to find him, to find his lost love and bring him home.

No matter what dead end Steve found himself in when it came to Hydra records the man never lost hope, he'd let Bucky go once he wouldn't do it a second time.

Eventually, with the world hanging in the balance because of Ultron Steve had to take a more full on role with the Avengers, Sam had convinced him training other recruits and staying at the compound was the best place for him to be; if Bucky wanted to be found they would have found him, he told Steve.

Bucky's shadow haunts him.

He feels the man and sees the man in everything he does, things lose their colour, food loses it's flavour as the Captain throws himself into his work.

Wanda becomes a good friend to him after the entire Ultron fiasco, he admires the girls ability to empathise in every situation and time often finds the two discussing the ones the love and miss in the lounge after training hours.

He's glad for her being on his side when the entire Sokovia Accords go down, he's even more glad for her powers to install that same amount of empathy in others. Steve brings Bucky back to the compound with his consent instead of to Ross, Zemo had told Tony it was the Winter Soldier who killed his parents and before Tony has a chance to lash out

Wanda stopped the genius by showing him inside Bucky's mind.

It took ten seconds for Tony to beg Wanda drag him out, she did and no one was more surprised than Bucky when the older man had told him he didn't forgive him but he could stay, his retreating form shaking as he headed for the labs.

Bucky had been staying at the compound for a few weeks, incident free. He'd gotten along surprisingly with Natasha, the two could often be found conversating lowly in Russian whenever Steve passed them. Sam and the ex winter soldier had taken to bicker with each other, in some imitation of being frenemies, Steve would find himself having to be the middle man a number of times. All in all although Bucky had plenty of people to talk to and really all he could ever want the man wandered the facility most of the time in utter silence. There'd be times he wouldn't eat or speak for days until Steve begged him to, the blonde was unsure whether that was because Bucky knew about their relationship before hand or because he knew of their friendship.

Not that it mattered, Steve was just glad to have him back again.

The supposed détente comes to an abrupt halt not soon after Steve thinks things are getting better.

It starts with Bucky having an alright day, he hadn't had a single nightmare for the past two nights, he'd even had a memory return to him. 

He'd considered it a win and immediately wanted to tell Steve.

He clears his throat as no one had heard him come in- his Winter Soldier prowl was still very much effective- and asks if anyone knew where Steve was. Nat tells him that the man went out with Sam and would be back in a bit.

Freaking Wilson.

The redhead invites Bucky to watch shitty tv with the rest of them and the soldier thinks he can get past Tony's occasional glares enough to actually join in.

Three episodes of 'Star Trek The Original Series' later and the familiar sounds of chatter filled the hallway, Bucky turned his head from Spock and Kirk to where Wilson and Steve came out of the elevator.

Bucky's already on his feet bounding over to the two, because groceries always means Steve's gotten him snack or something else he wanted Bucky to try- the man had found out HYRDA never gave him solid foods to eat and flipped out.

His advancement to the kitchen where Steve and Sam were packing stuff away faltered once he actually saw Steve. The blonde was too busy laughing at something Wilson had said to notice Bucky's predicament, his pal stared unflinchingly at the simple attire he wore. 

A pair of jeans.

A pale grey t-shirt.

Those weren't the problem, the problem was the navy cardigan Steve wore that stole the freaking show.

Suddenly Bucky's throat clamps up, his feigned scowl drops and his heartbeat accelerates at an alarming rate. He doesn't even remember buckling under the wave of sadness and scrambling for somewhere to hide, just sees the concern written on Steve's face and panics.

Two hands hold his shoulders, a voice is telling him to breathe but the memories balance on the horizon overwhelming everything he knows, everything he thought he knew.

"Breathe baby please, come on doll breathe." He can hear the tension rising in Steve's tone and whines because he's making Steve anxious, but there's a thought on the tip of his tongue, he had to get off his mind.

He grits his teeth and surpasses the pain. "I knew you, _I knew you_."

"Yeah baby." The pet name doesn't help. It just hurts him further, Bucky doesn't deserve it, he's a monster he doesn't deserve it. Steve doesn't give up just explains memories of them before, times they'd had together.

The members of the team in the room get a little panicked when Bucky kicks out against the onslaught but Stevie just holds him tighter and yells at them to back off.

"They always said we didn't know anything when we were young Buck, my dad, the kids at school but I knew..." Steve's brushing away the long hair from his best pals eyes trying to get him to look at him. "but I knew I loved you and that was everything to me Buck. I knew _everything_ when I was young." The words hurt, stab at Bucky's chest and he tries to escape again, twisting in the blondes arms as tears stream down his cheeks.

"Don't Steve!" He begs but Steve knows exactly what he needs and ignores him, rocking him gently through his panic.

"I knew you'd come back to me."

Bucky protests harder, his hands gripping at his long hair with fist as he fights the urge to pull it. **"Please Stevie!"** Steve tries to see past Bucky's pain, tries to give him what he knows Bucky needs.

The blonde's voice breaks as he burrows Bucky's head into his shoulder and whispers in his ear. "I lost you Buck, you're like a lost boy from the stories your dad would tell us and I've found you." The avengers jolt in sympathy at the scene as Bucky wails brokenly, actually wails his body slumping in defeat against Steve who holds him protectively against his chest. The brunette immediately grips the soft material that triggered him between his fists and plasters his face into the soft cotton. Tony's already ushering everyone out, for the first time he really understands why Steve did what he did, why he couldn't fault the man for his mothers death.

He was just a man, a man who'd been wronged.

When Steve and Bucky are alone he kisses the brunettes sweaty crown, shushing him through his cries. "It's ok Buck, shh shh it's ok. I've got you, ain't never letting you go again doll."

Bucky hiccups into his lost loves shoulder. "I'm sorry Stevie, I wasn't brave I'm sorry."

Steve just kisses him again. "It's okay baby doll. we're together now. You promised I'd never have to cry again and I never will now I got you here. Love you so much doll." Bucky cries, Steve holds him and time seems to finally let them breathe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another round of depression? 
> 
> :0 don't worry I was just thinking about it, I ain't gone do it.
> 
> My favourite Stucky related line from this song is "Stepping on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain." which is pretty self explanatory, ugh the songs are seriously made for the boys, no once can convince me differently.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read my work, also would anybody be interested in reading a Stucky fanfic with Bucky as a single father? I have one in developing but want to finish this one first before publishing anymore incomplete projects.
> 
> Drop a comment if it floats your boat. Kisses xxx


	6. HOAX

~HOAX~

Recovery isn't easy.

Since his breakdown Bucky hasn't touched Steve and most days the ex assassin can barely look the blonde in the eyes. It's not for lack of trying, he just can't quite convince himself he deserves it.

The rippling effect of his mood slowly oozes onto everyone else, Steve is tense stuck between worrying about Bucky everyday and feeling guilty because there's nothing he can do to help. This helplessness he feels annoys the ex HYDRA assassin who can't bare the thought of hurting Steve. In the end their involved in a vicious cycle of no communication and unresolved feelings which had them and the rest of the team on edge.

Sam's in the kitchen one morning visiting the tower when Nat walks in with her mouth in a scowl. His eyebrow raises at seeing blatant emotion on the spies face, normally she was much more reserved. "What's up?" He poses his concern more unaffected than anything so as not to aggravate the redhead further, she steals the coffee he was drinking and gulps it down, only once it's empty does she speak.

"I've had enough of stepping on eggshells around the 100 year old children, if I have to deal with Steve waking me up in the middle of the night again because Bucky's having a nightmare he can't fix himself, I'm going to revert back to communism." Sam snorts but Nat's being deadly serious, meeting her stoic expression has the man frowning.

Tony's the next to shuffle in, making a beeline for the coffee machine. He doesn't even consider pouring himself a cup, just takes the jug and drinks from it. 

When the genius has gulped half of the brown liquid down he burps and frowns at the two sitting round the kitchen island. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I've never wanted someone to get laid as much as I want cap to." The smug look Natasha gives Sam isn't lost on the billionaire, Sam rolls his eyes.

"Sex isn't going to cure their problems Tony." He uses his best counsellor voice and everything to express his disappointment in the mans opinion, Nat scoffs.

"No but it would sure fucking help."

The Falcon chastises her. "Nat!"

She's shrugging without a care in the world, already peeling the skin off of an apple with a knife she's pulled out of nowhere. "What? It's obvious they need an outlet, they can't have a conversation to save their own lives, so sex could be a healthy alternative."

Sam of course has to disagree. "It sounds more like avoidance to me." 

"What sounds like avoidance." Bucky Barnes' gruff sounds from out of nowhere and Sam jumps a foot in the air. Tony rushes off to the sofas to throw himself down unceremoniously whilst Nat feigns innocence. 

"Nothing. Good morning Yasha."

Bucky grunts.

The man has on an excessive amount of layers on despite it being a rather nice sunny day, bags under his eyes like he'd been up all night and still manages to be one of the most intimidating people ever. Sam watches him move around the kitchen from his peripherals, Bucky reaches up on his tippy toes to reach a packet of Oreos from the top shelf and how is it possible for someone who looks like they could kill you in your sleep and probably would to make an action adorable. 

Bucky's making little aggravates sounds and mumbling curses under his breath about 'couple inches' and Sam tries not to laugh watching him, even Tony and Nat hold back grins. 

The tension seeps back into the room when the other super soldier seemingly appears and saddles in real close behind Bucky, reaches over his shoulder and grasps the packet in his hands to give to the struggling man.

The entire room held it's breath.

As Steve's walks to the fridge to go about his day getting juice, he fails to notice the pale stricken expression on Bucky's face, or the rigidness which is now his demeaner.

It's like watching the calm before the storm, any minute now the silence will fade and someone will erupt.

Neither of those things happen, because both men are ridiculous. 

Bucky drops the Oreos abruptly like they'd burnt his hand, Steve turns his head towards the sound and his face drops at the sight of Bucky's expression. He's immediately going into his protective voice, his hands reaching out to help. This triggers the brunette, who growls- actually growls!- at Steve to ward him off whilst he backs out of the kitchen to run to his room.

Leaving Steve gaping after him.

No one says a word.

Until Tony sits up and throws his arms into the air in exasperation.

"That's it, I physically cannot watch this going on inside my own home any longer-"

Sam tries to interrupt. "Tony."

"Nope Birdy, I'm sorry. Steve for god sakes go talk to your guy ok, talk it out then hopefully fuck it out of your systems because we're all getting sick of you two."

Steve's been gradually growing redder, that furrow between his brow getting deeper the longer Tony goes on for. "What are you talking about?"

Nat sighs. "We're talking about the thick ass tension between you and Bucky- no don't try to deny it that's not attractive. You guys need to get your heads out of your butts and talk to each other." 

Their Captains readying himself to protest but Nat glares her famous Widow glare at him, she points at the doorway Bucky fled through. "Go Steve, go now!" Steve's already following her order, a furious blush on his cheeks.

Sam watches in awe and offers to make Nat some breakfast.

"Best thing I've heard all morning."

*-*

Steve's a nervous wreck.

He's been outside his best pals room for a good five minutes trying to give himself the courage needed to knock on his door. He can never remember a time in his life when he couldn't muster up enough courage to do something. The blonde was supposed to always run head first into anything, everything especially when it was something concerning Bucky.

Lately, he's been afraid. More afraid than ever before, there's an element of repulsion in Bucky's stare whenever they happen to lock eyes and it makes his skin crawl, he couldn't take the implications of what that meant.

Who would Steve Rogers even be in a world without Bucky Barnes?

He raps his fist on the wood twice before he could second himself anymore, Nat was right. They had to sort their shit out before the tension killed them both.

There's no reply.

He tries again.

Again, no reply.

Let it be said that Steve knows Bucky's close by in the room, close enough to hear his knocking, which means he's actively ignoring him. Normally Steve would be accepting of such rejection. It was common for Bucky to sometimes need space, he could usually give him that. But Steve's had enough, for the first time in a while he's not feeling understanding he's pissed and wants to see the brunette's ugly mug.

Steve takes a deep breath, pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "Buck I swear to god-"

"Go away Steve." A muffled voice belonging to none other than Bucky moans.

Steve's taken aback. "Go away!?"

Bucky snorts at his disbelief. "Yeah 's what I said ain't it." The blondes jaw aches under the strain he's clenching it with, hearing the attitude Bucky's speaking to him with only riles him up further.

"You little fucker." Without thinking Steve kicks the door open.

"Ahhh!" Bucky flails running from the sofa to his en suite bathroom to hide, Steve's quicker than him and gets to the door in time to block his escape. When Bucky clock his mistake he tries to divert to the main door but the blonde's smart and had already calculated the move and shut the door behind him. Now trapped Bucky starts backing up from Steve whose prowling over to him. "Stop it Stevie, let me go!"

Stevie frowns. "Not until we talk."

Bucky whines, actually whines. "Noooooo!" To Steve's surprise the brunette dashes to his bed and buries himself under layers of blankets, he'd never even seen the old Bucky act so childishly; his anger dissipated some at the display.

"Buck come on we hafta." Steve ends up sitting on the edge of the lump which is now his best pal.

When Bucky talks, his voice is obnoxiously loud under so many quilts. "About what Stevie!"

His tone instantly sets Steve off. "Don't shout at me!"

Bucky burrows into his nest further. "I'll do what I want!"

"That's it!" In another move Bucky probably doesn't see coming Steve rips off the layers covering his friend. Bucky screams in protest trying to wiggle out from the hold but Steve's swaddling him in his favourite Captain America themed blanket (he'll deny he has it until the day he dies) so he had no choice but to stop struggling.

When he's all wrapped up and glaring daggers into Steve's very soul the blonde settles down next to him and gives him a look.

"Are you done?" Bucky sticks his chin up at him and Steve pinches his cheek, a rosy blush echoes across the brunettes cheeks letting Steve know he didn't mind the action but he refuses to make eye contact.

"Why can't you look at me Bucky?"

Bucky turns his head further away. "I look at you all the time."

"Yeah with disgust," Bucky's confused, his brow crinkles and he side eyes Steve a bit. The Captain counts it as progress and carries on his emotions kind of taking over. "Did I do something? Buck if I did ya just gotta tell me, I wouldn't ever hurt ya Buck ya know that."

The ex HYDRA assassin growls, his arms straining in the blanket. "Christ, why's it always gotta be about you huh? You're mister perfect Stevie, you ain't never hurt no one a day in your life. I ain't disgusted with you I'm disgusted with myself!" The moment the words leave his mouth he regrets them, Steve's face is contorted painfully, that sickening heartbroken stare just makes Bucky feel so much worse.

"Buck you-" The addressed man cuts him off harshly, his head smacking back into the pile of pillows as he slumps in defeat.

"If you're gonna say summin along the lines of all the things you did weren't your fault don't Stevie, fucking don't. I hurt you, busted your face, hurt your heart I ain't worthy of looking at ya."

Steve momentarily forgets himself, saddles in closer to Bucky and rubs his arm. "Bucky, you'll always be worthy."

Again the other denies it. "No James Buchanan Barnes was worthy."

"You are-"

"I ain't James Barnes anymore Stevie! I can't be him anymore, the thought of touching you makes me sick. I can't hurt you again, I can't." The hand stroking his arm moves to cup his face and Steve forces Bucky's face to turn with the slightest pressure.

"Baby you're hurting me by saying that stuff about yourself."

Bucky's ready to deny it, shaking his head profusely. "I blamed you Stevie, they made me blame you. It was just easier to hate you." Even though his heart stutters in his chest at the revealed secret, Steve's still hopeful.

"You can blame me all you want Bucky, it wont change how I feel about you."

Bucky's trying to hold back tears now, and is failing miserably. "They pulled me apart Stevie, not just my mind my body too. It still hurts underneath all the scars, what they did to me. But you leaving me behind, that hurt even more."

His best pal breaks, his voice cracking as his thumbs rub the tears off Bucky's perfect little face. "I-i know baby, I'm sorry." When Bucky lets it all go, really go with gasping choked noises and hiccups Steve's own tears are triggered.

"It hurts so much Stevie!"

"I'm here now Buck, I came back baby I'm here."

"But you weren't _then_."

Steve rocks him, swaddled blanket and all not caring how ridiculous it would look to anyone else. He starts whispering the words into Bucky's ears, words he needs to hear. 

_'I'm sorry'_ and _'Never leave you again sweet heart'_

_'Baby'_

_'Doll'_

Bucky whines into his neck, the pale skin there flushes heavenly under the ministrations and the brunettes resolve breaks at the sight. "Stevie please, wanna hold you." His incessive wriggling has Steve holding back a laugh, but he's quick to unwrap the giant baby from the blankets hold.

Bucky remains good for him, waiting until the blankets tossed carelessly behind him before lunging himself at the giant golden retriever. Steve laughs bright and loud and the sound is purer than honey suckle, Bucky swears by it.

Buried there in Stevie's warm embrace, with his strong arms holding him close, keeping him safe Bucky's never felt more at home in his life he's sure of it.

They lay together in this patch of time, this little space of comfort and breathe in sync like they used to whenever Steve would have an asthma attack. 

Bucky breaks the softness of the moment when he bites the pale skin of Stevie's neck. The move was unexpected enough for Steve to jolt his hips like a livewire had shot through him. Those arms hold Bucky a little harder, a little closer.

"Buck, doll I ain't gonna be able to help myself If you keep doin' that."

"Mmm, I want ya to help yourself." Bucky's coyly pulling away from his neck, throwing him a glance to gage Steve's reaction, the blondes expression is soft and considering.

"You sure baby?"

From his position above Steve he rocks his hips down and smirks. "I'm right here ain't I." Steve flips them over, Bucky goes down willingly his hair spewing out over the pillow.

He's shivering when Steve's husky voice purrs into his ear. "Want me to take care of ya doll?"

"Yes, yes Stevie want that. Want you." His best pal smirks at the desperation in his tone, biting down on his bottom lips and then slipping his tongue inside to slip against his own. 

When Bucky's practically panting open mouthed at the oral stimulation Steve chuckles darkly into his ear. "Where'd you want me baby?" The words go straight to Bucky's dick, he moans back his response.

"In my mouth, ugh wanna put my mouth on ya Stevie." Then Steve's warmth is gone from over him, the man stands to the side of the bed and strips off his top, Bucky ogles his chest but has his attention captured completely when his man shucks off his jeans and his dick bobs up against his stomach.

His man lays back against the pile of bed stuff and throws him a smirk. "What are you waiting for?" Bucky dives head first into the crevice of Steve's legs and licks a hot stripe up the length of his cock, flicking his tongue out to taste the pre-cum leaking from the tip. The groan of approval he gets from above is all the confirmation he needs to suck the rest of him into his mouth, until his lips collide with the blonde hairs on his torso. 

Bucky's giving him permission to be rough when he looks up with those grey eyes and Steve understands.

Steve fucks his face, dragging his length over Bucky's tongue so deep into his throat that Bucky ends up losing time. He spaces out and Steve has to drag him off to make sure he's okay. "Bucky baby, you with me." He's got spit on his chin, a slight trail of saliva connecting his tongue to the tip of Steve's dick, there's tears brimming in his eyes and Steve thinks he's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Pushes Bucky back onto his cock with a deep lingering groan, "Just like that baby- oh fuck."

Bucky's got his hands on his own dick, stripping it like he's seconds away from blowing his load.

Steve can't have that now.

"Come here doll, take it off Buck wanna see you."

He's shy but with some gentle stoking his doll takes off his sweats and two plain t-shirts.

Steve presses kisses of adoration to Bucky's scars and doesn't even give him a chance to get hesitant or fussy because he's bending him over on the bed and burying his face in-between his ass cheeks. Bucky keens, grips the headboard with a metal whir of his arm and fucks back.

"Oh Stevie, Stevie what the- oh, oh yeah right there baby fuckkkkk." He can't help pushing his body back into that hot wet morsel because holy hell Steve is fucking him with his tongue and they'd never done this before, not that he remembers anyway but oh it feels so fucking good and he never wants it to stop.

When he deems Bucky loose enough he fingers him open at the same time his tongue jabs in and out of him. Bucky's walls convulse around him and Steve's getting more and more riled up as the minutes pass. He eagerly gets him nice and ready and only lubes up his cock when the brunette fucks himself back onto 3 of his fingers. 

The love of his life flips over and presents himself for the taking, Steve's just a man. Seeing Bucky so willingly accepting and wanting him always has done it for him, Steve holds the mans thick thighs in his hands and puts his puffy hole on show. It quivers appealingly when he rubs his dick past it, as does Bucky. He teases a few more times before slowly easing his cock into his heat. Bucky's a mess, lost between panting and groaning tilting his head back and wanting to see the love in Steve's eyes.

"So good baby." Steve grunts out, still pushing in.

"Mmph yeah, how good baby tell me Stevie."

"The fucking best Buck, love you doll. Can't help lovin on a sweetheart, always were the best Buck, ain't no one else for me." His thrusts morph from fast and rough to deep pulls and pushes, Steve draws it all out just to hear his baby mewl and feeling the entire length of him filling him up completely has Bucky on the fucking edge; he's gonna cum, he's gonna cum.

Steve knows it, can see it in the way his back arches against the mattress pushing his thick cock directly into his prostate every time. The Captain decides to have mercy on him, leans down real close whilst increasing the slamming of his hips into Bucky ass. When Bucky's moaning at every move Steve licks his neck from the bottom all the way up to his ear lobe and sucks it into his mouth, simultaneously grabbing the mans cheeks open and fingering the wet place where their bodies join.

His voice comes out a rough possessive growl. "Best pussy I ever had, Buck." Bucky's body goes taut immediately, his chest tightens and he stops breathing completely as his climax sneaks up on him. Steve's still using him, dragging his cock over his stimulated prostate over and over whilst fireworks burst behind his eyelids. There's come all over his stomach cooling in the air but he can't care enough, his world is narrowed down to Steve, Stevie, his Stevie.

His hole spasm around Steve's cock and his baby groans low and filthy into his ear. "Wanna come on those tits baby."

Bucky's dick kicks again, firming up as his arousal kicks in anew. "Stevie? Oh shit!" 

"You gonna let me, huh. Gonna let me get ya all messy, mark you as mine?"

"Yes baby please!"

"Good boy." Bucky moans coming again when Steve pulls out of his hole and starts fucking his cock with his hand, head aimed for Bucky's tits.

"Gonna come on you doll, gonna fuckin' come." The Brooklyn in Steve is so strong and it's doing things to Bucky's insides. Bucky pushes his pecs together with his hands and flexes, begging him to do it. Steve comes not too soon after locking eyes with him, his load hitting Bucky right where he wanted it to.

The hunk collapses beside Bucky heaving indecently, Bucky scoffs and goes to get a wash cloth to clean the spunk off his chest and Steve's dick.

"You should get some more of these blue blankets, maybe in different shades." Steve's orgasm wrecked voice observes some time later when their cuddling the fuck out of each other, Bucky nuzzles into the bed and smiles over at him his fingers skimming the blonde's lips.

"Don't want no other shade of blue but you Stevie." Steve's mouth lights up in a breath-taking smile and Bucky hears the angels sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this earlier, I had an entire birthday week to get through.
> 
> This chapter was harder to write than the others, writers block is a bitch.
> 
> Sex wont fix all your problems, Sam's right... but it sure does help, so Tony's right too. XD
> 
> Hope I did the boys justice, that smut scene was very intense, and very filthy whoa.
> 
> On that note, Kisses xxx


	7. PEACE

~PEACE~

Nights are so still in Wakanda.

The people there are very set in their own ways, most tend to view the night time as a period of extended rest and recovery from the hot day more than anything else. Bucky loves to spend his evenings lazing back on the grass near the lake, taking in the stars above the dome which protects Wakanda from outsiders.

If he squints hard enough he can make out the luminous shimmer of the dome as it reflects against the cities lights.

After everything with the accords and Bucky's slow recovery, King T'Challa had offered a place inside his home for Bucky and Steve to retire if they so wished. Bucky had told Steve he'd never wanted to fight and never would again if he could help it, and Steve- to his elation- had agreed to put down the shield and pass on the Captain America mantle to Sam. The birdbrain would deny his reaction of tears to this very day but Bucky still held it against him whenever the man dropped by to say hi.

Bucky, he settled into retirement fairly easily, his new job as goat herder was simple. The animals liked his constant presence as did the village children, who would gather around him and gawk whenever he worked. Not in a cruel fashion mind you, they simply couldn't believe a white man lived so closely to them. The ex assassin would be lying if he didn't say he liked the name they'd dubbed him as.

_'White Wolf'_

They'd chant the name as he worked or relaxed asking him question upon question and he smiled and answered every single one; they were all innocent anyway.

At times when Bucky found himself completely at ease with his new life, he'd glance over at Steve- who'd taken up art once again- and stare at the wonder that was his boyfriend, soulmate, love of his life it didn't matter as long as he was Bucky's. The blondes blue eyes would meet his once he clocked on to the staring and he'd grin wide and beautiful in Bucky's direction, blushing rosy on those cheeks of his. His heart would skip twenty beats and the sun would illuminate Steve's figure and Bucky would bask in the warmth, turn over and maybe give the man a cheeky kiss, which would escalate into two. Bucky would laugh as Steve spluttered and whined about his work before giving in to the kisses, even going as far as kissing back if Bucky were lucky.

On bad days Bucky hikes up one of the grassy mountains and sits down, not everyday is a good day and he's come to accept that. Most of the time his bad days include him feeling guilty, for all the bad things he'd ever done, Steve would tell him time and time again.

"What you did all those years, it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice."

To which he'd reply. "I know...but I did it."

He knew Steve was right, knew he shouldn't, couldn't blame himself really for everything he'd been put through, but if he'd have been a bit braver or pushed himself further he could've ended it and saved some lives. Steve's face crumbled when he tells him he should've died from the fall, that just hurts Bucky more, knowing he hurt the blonde.

He holds Steve extra hard every night after that.

It's a bad day when Bucky looks across the horizon at the setting sun, his heads cradled in his palms, which are balanced on his knees carefully. Every now and then he flinches against the metal of his left hand but eventually he settles against the sensation, it helps that T'Challas sister Shuri had replaced HYDRA's contraption with a sleek vibranium model. It was lighter and more entuned to his own body and nerves, being able to feel skin with both hands again had improved his mood.

He sighed, lying back against the quilt he'd spread on he ground. A stick snapped somewhere behind him but he recognised the weight of the footfalls enough not to startle.

"Hey Buck." Steve's voice rumbles through the air and he greets him with a small smile. Steve takes it as an invitation and settles in next to him, turning over to regard Bucky softly.

"You okay sweetheart?"

Bucky mumbles pressing his face into Steve's chest. "Havin' a bad day Stevie." Steve clicks his tongue in sympathy and presses a tender kiss to his forehead, but says nothing just lets the silence envelop them.

A short while later, the brunette brings up the one thing he'd been meaning to ask his partner.

"Stevie, would it be enough..." Bucky takes a deep breath to brace himself for the mans response. "Would it be enough, if I could never give you peace?"

At first Steve doesn't understand but when he does, when it clicks in his mind he frowns pulling Bucky closer into his chest. "Oh Bucky baby, I don't need peace. I just need you, it's all I've ever needed baby. You're my peace." 

Bucky cries softly while Steve holds him, rocking him back and forth.

"I'd give ya anything Stevie you know that, I'd die for you. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting your honour or summin." He's really pouring his heart out this time and he knows most of it must sound like babble but he has to let it out.

Steve tries to get him to look at him. "Buck-"

Bucky shakes his head closing his eyes and refusing to look up at him. "No Stevie wait..." Steve halts his arguments allowing Bucky to continue. "with me there's always gonna be some rain and I'm askin' you, you precious sunshine if you'll have me forever. It's forever or nothing with me Stevie, I couldn't handle losing you again-"

"Buck-"

"I know it's probably a lot and you don't really have to say yes-" His rambling cuts off when he pulls away from the beefcakes chest and sees Steve laughing at him, Bucky huffs and crosses his arm pouting. "Ya don't gotta laugh at me-"

"You've been rambling since the first day we met Buck, never giving me a chance to speak."

Bucky pouts further. "Well what d'ya wanna say?"

Much to his surprise Steve gets on one knee and beams at him like he'd hug the moon or something. "Marry me Buck." What the blonde expects is some spluttering, maybe even a jaw drop or whatever. What he doesn't expect is the full brunt force of Bucky knocking him off his knees in a hard hug that ends with the rolling in the grass.

At the end of their wrestling Bucky's voice whispers in his ear, all sweet and innocent. "Yeah?" Steve hums gripping the mans waist in a firm hold.

"Yes Stevie, _yes_!" Bucky answers excitedly, that classic grin overtaking his features before he smashes a kiss to Steve's lips, who reciprocates wholeheartedly. 

*-*

Steven Grant Rogers is 34 when he marries the love of his life James Buchanan Barnes, who is 35 at the time.

"There goes the last great American dynasty." Sam mumbles under his breath to Nat as Bucky and Steve walk down the isle arm in arm, the man winces when Tony beside him blows his nose and dabs at the tears on his cheeks, Nat gives him a tissue and he smiles before claiming he's allergic to the flowers.

When the happy couple dance later that night at the wedding reception, Bucky can't help mumbling into his husbands ear softly _. "Technically Stevie, I'm 101."_

Steve smirks. _"Technically Bucky Bear, I'm never counting years under ice."_

Bucky agrees, tucking his nose back into the juncture at Steve's throat.

They never do count the years under the ice, settling in instead to their sunny new life in Wakanda as both learn to finally stop fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song marks the ending of this fanfic in such a beautiful way. 
> 
> To me it perfectly captures the boys finding peace with who they are and adjusting to the differences of each other.
> 
> If you made it this far to the end I want to thank you so much for reading, this is officially the first fanfic I've ever finished and it means a whole lot to me. Taylor Swifts folklore album unlocked a different perspective for Stucky for me and I hope this fanfic does the same for you.
> 
> Kisses xxx


End file.
